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Yesterday i had ATLEAST 2000 calories.
Oh god, what the fuck was i thinking.
I am TERRIFIED to weigh myself
I am waiting till after i go to the loo
SO no liquids till then.
I am waiting for the lax's to kick in
I took 4 of em, last night, so it shouldn't be to long.
My throat hurts,
My face hurts
everything hurts.
I have to study for exams today. I left my textbook at school, so i really have no idea what i'm doing.
I miss my friends. :( , or the lack of them
My best friend, doesn't even want me anymore
I think its because i've become way to wrapped up in this again.
I never wanna go out, and have fun anymore, out of fear I will eat.
Tonight she's going out with other friends,
Not only am i failing you girls,
I am also failing my other friends,
and most importantly myself.
I just want to die.



Binged like mad.
didn't EVEN purge.

What the fuck was i thinking?


I ws hoping it would be less

So i work 3-10 tonight, and thats going to be my last shift for the next two months, because i was getting really stressed and what not. I have exams on monday, tuesday, and wednesday, and i think i might go skiing on thursday.

I got a new pair of skiis yesterday 500 bucks :|
fricken expensiveeee, as hell.
But yeah,
My moms yelling at me, because i should be studying.

have a good one :) 


I was bored, so i figured i'd post some pictures of my FATASS.




Reverse thinspo i guess


I can't believe my eyes.
Cabbage (Y)
Celery (Y)

omg. so happy

Def. over 500

B: 1/3 bagel (70), 1/2 tangerine (15)
S: nothing
L: hummus wrap (200)
S: GUM (40)
-2 slices of bread (200?)
-bran cereal (70)
D: CELERY (10) + mustard  (0)

TOTAL today: Ughhhh omg. 605 ???? NOOO WAY.


145 by saturday, again.


NO binging today
I am vegan as of yesterday again :)

B: apple(60)
S: nothing
L:gum (3 cal)
S: Apple, warmed up with cinamon (60), + veggies(40) + 1/2 whole grain weight watchers toast + 1/2 teaspoon of jam ( 40)
D:? spinach soup probably (50 ?)

TOTAL INTAKE: 300 maxish.
+ 1/2 hour workout.

Awesome, i think :)

So i am cold, as usual. I mostly hate it, bu tim also kinda happy because it means that i havent eaten enough :P, to keep my body waaarrm :D

Anyways, i want a boyfriend right now. At work the other day this really fat ugly chick was talking about her bf, and i was super pissed, like wtf, you have a boyfriend and I dont? ughhh.
ohhwell, atleast I'm not binging , and saving ANIMALS :)

Going vegan again as of NOW

I've done it before
I CAN do it now.


No wrong word.


i am beyond embarrassed

I have let your girls down
I have let myself down.
I HATE myself.
Why can't i do anything right anymore.
I am back to 150 possibly more.
I will not look at the scale until NEXT, sunday.
so not tomorrow, but the one after that.

And i will be down to 145 again/
I hate food.
I hate donughts.
I hate bagels.
I hate cheese.
I hate life.